


Falling Into Your Gravity

by Helene08



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Episode: S3e04 Thy Soul Instructed, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Post-Episode: S3e05 Stronger Than Heaven, episode coda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 15:09:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14239965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Helene08/pseuds/Helene08
Summary: "You're helping me all the time," says Alec like it's explains everything (which kind of does in his perspective), "-if I came to you every time I had a problem we-""We'll spend more time together," bits back Magnus in a wry tone. "Oh, the torture!"Alec from his seat can't hide his small amused smile. He opens a book in an absent gesture before he closes it again, almost immediately.Alec rubs his eyes and put the book he was still holding above Magnus one while he continues, "-I'll come back to the Institute and examine Morgan, see if my magic can't shed some light in things.""Thank you but with this, I just-" retorts Alec with a shake of his head before stopping at mid-sentence.He feels like he's drowning and he can't do anything to prevent it.OrMagnus finds the right words to appease Alec fears and proves to him that he's not going anywhere.





	Falling Into Your Gravity

**Author's Note:**

> English isn't my first language so I'm sorry for any mistakes or grammatical errors. 
> 
> Disclaimer: Shadowhunters and anything recognizable doesn't belongs to me but to all their owners. 
> 
> 1) The Malec Sneak-Peek literally killed me. I watched it an hundred of times since it got released and well here comes the result of watching way too much a sneak-peak and the promo pictures of 3X05. 
> 
> 2) Kudos to the one who will pick the Grey's Anatomy Easter Egg in this! 
> 
> 3) The title is based on Sara Bareilles, "Gravity" song.   
> (Also I wrote that a few days ago so if it has any similarities with another fanfic or will have any resemblance with a future episode fanfic that probably a lot of people will post after 3X04 it's of course purely coincidental.)
> 
> 4) If you ever passing by thanks for reading! ~~Also I need to stop writing such long boring authors notes or sentences that Malec wouldn't probably say on the show.~~

 

* * *

 

"What's all this?" questioned Magnus as he took a book on his hands while Alec is sitting down in the yellow armchair in Magnus living room.

While his boyfriend sits down on the blue armchair next to him at his turn, Alec responded "I need to stop all these mundane murders we've no idea who or what the owl is and hit a dead end on testing Morgan," he looks at his opened book and accentuates "-digging  _for clues._ "

Without missing a beat Magnus retorts as he takes a look at the own open book he's holding in his hands, "Well not to be the overeager warlock boyfriend but need a hand?"

"You're helping me all the time," says Alec like it's explains everything (which kind of does in his perspective), "-if I came to you every time I had a problem we-"

"We'll spend more time together," bits back Magnus in a wry tone. "Oh, the torture!"

Alec from his seat can't hide his small amused smile. He opens a book in an absent gesture before he closes it again, almost immediately.

His boyfriend makes a flourish gesture with his hands and put the book he was holding on the small table that separates them. "Look after I get some food in you-"

Alec rubs his eyes and put the book he was still holding above Magnus one while he continues, "-I'll come back to the Institute and examine Morgan, see if my magic can't shed some light in things."

The dark-haired man stands up and turns his back at Magnus, the feeling of not doing enough to fill his duty as the head is just  _too much_ , the fact that he's also afraid for his mother doesn't help either, it adds another pressure upon his shoulders.

"Thank you but with this, I just-" retorts Alec with a shake of his head before stopping at mid-sentence.

He feels like he's  _drowning_  and he can't do anything to prevent it.

That's what Alec hates the most, being powerless.

A beat.

Suddenly, even if he couldn't see him, he knows that Magnus is moving towards him, and like always, he knows that Magnus is the one whom will always pull him back on track.

He never thought in a million years that someone could have such a power on him. Magnus keeps him grounded, when he feels like he's lost or when the pressure of not being good enough is  _too strong_ ,  _too much_ , _too overwhelming_ , the warlock always brings him back to him.

They are like the sun and the earth. So different but yet they complement each other. Just like the earth can't exist without the sun, Alec can't really live without Magnus or without his touches.

He just couldn't live without the affect that Magnus Bane has on him.

Alec will always fall into his gravity.

The taller man has still his back turned away from the warlock as he tries to compose himself and tries to not let this feeling of anxiety choking him, because he just couldn't let his composure crumble right now.

He's literally failing. The anxiousness is choking him. 

Until Magnus hands are pressing softly his shoulders and just like that he feels like he could breathe again.

His boyfriend says tenderly and very calmly.

"Hey,  _we'll_ make it through this. One step at a time"

Alec finally turns around and smiles softly at him, "Yeah. _I know_ , thank you."

Like always his boyfriend he's the one who keeps him from  _drowning_. Every time Magnus has just the right gestures that calms him down, help him focus, or that set him free.

Alec never want this feeling to go.

When Magnus simply smiles to him and puts his hand on his check before he walks away, Alec just  _knows_.

_'That they_   _will get through this just like they always do'_

One step at a time.

~~~••~~~

"This is not just any greater demon." says Magnus as he was standing in the weapons room in the Institute, "She's Lilith the mother of all demons."

It turns out that Magnus investigation on Morgan wasn't for nothing. It took some time but he could finally detect a trace of the power of the demon behind all of this, thanks to his magic.

Alec and Izzy were standing next to him at one side of the large table in the room while Clary and Simon are facing them standing in the other side.

A deafening silence follows Magnus revelation, as everyone is staring at him, still processing this information.

Simon who of course can't help himself is the one to break the silence.

"Wait you mean ' _the Lilith_ '" Simon continues "-like in  _Supernatural_?"

Ignoring everyone confused look at his own pop culture reference he adds, "Right sorry. What I meant is that I thought that she was a legend. Well I also know her because I'm a Jewish but-"

"All legends are true" cuts him off Alec before he reports his look back on his boyfriend, "Are you sure about this?"

Magnus only nods and the head of the Institute sighs and hangs his head down as Clary says with a frown, "Wait she can't be worse than Valentine, right?"

Izzy is the one to answer this time.

"She's worst. She is even more powerful than Valentine's and well she can literally bring hell on earth."

Clary stays silent as Simon quips sarcastically, "Great let's have our own  _Independence Day_."

Alec ignores him as he says to no one in particular, "We need Jace. We need to go to Idris and report this to the Clave."

Isabelle and Clary shared a look and Alec  _snaps_. "What?"

All looks are on the two women in the room and Clary responds after a while "He's not here."

"What do you mean by he's not here? Where is he?!"

~~~••~~~

It was one hour after Magnus revelation about Lilith that a knock interrupted Alec who was working in his office.

He was looking again at the video surveillance of the owl attack, with a sigh he said at whoever that knocked on his door to enter.

A redhead passed her head through the open door and entered seeing that the dark-haired man was alone on his office.

“What is it?” asked Alec with a sigh as Clary walked towards his desk with a small smile.

“It is just to say that I just saw Jace in his room,” the red-haired girl took a small pause hoping that her voice doesn’t betrays that she’s worried, “He’s fine he just left the Institute to investigate on all these mundane murders.”

Alec gave her an unconvinced look and gets up to stand in front of the young girl. “If something was wrong with Jace you will tell me, right?”

A small silence ensues before Clary repeats. “Alec, Jace is fine I told you he’s- “

“Went to investigate on all these murders,” cut her off the head of Institute, “ _I know._ It doesn’t mean that there isn’t more in the story. Something that you both are not telling me.”

At the redhead silence Alec sighed, “Look now is not the time. I need to inform the Clave about Lilith.”

With these words he sits back in front of his office and looked at his tablet, knowing that their conversation was over, Clary started to walk away but stopped as she was about to open the door.

“Clary!” at Alec call she turned around to look at him, “ _Just._ Take care of Jace okay? We both know how reckless he could be sometimes and I’m really worried about him.”

“Yeah of course.” smiled softly the red-haired girl and when the other man nodded, she left closing the door behind her.

~~~••~~~

The Clave was doubtful when they said that Lilith was the powerful, dark and old power responsible for:

**_1) The creation of the owl responsible for all these attacks._ **

**_2) The one responsible for all this demon corruption._ **

The  _Inquisitor_ Herondale said that they needed proofs because they couldn't just make assumptions based on a warlock instinct.

Especially when it comes from a warlock who isn't the high-warlock anymore.

Like always the Clave were a bunch of closeted morons.

Magnus and Lorenzo put their animosity towards each other aside to work together with all the warlock community and find a solution to fight Lilith.

Everyone was on high alert.

Magnus and he, as well as the others Downworlders and Shadowhunters were still researching a way to prove that Lilith was indeed the one behind all these attacks.

Without success. Lilith seemed to be really good at hiding her power. It was like she has someone on the inside because they couldn't find anything to defeat her, or to even proves that she's actually in charge.

It's have been a few longs days.

In Magnus bedroom, Alec put a shirt before he walked away and steps a foot in the living room. He saw Magnus opening a box and looking at a small golden medal.

"Hey," said the dark-haired man with a smile.

Magnus put the medal he was holding back on the box before he turned to face his boyfriend.

He can't help but smile as he points out at Alec blue and white checked shirt.

"Wait. Is that my shirt?"

Alec stammered, "Yeah. I'm sorry. I came home very late last night because of the last owl attack. This morning I saw that I didn't have any clean shirt left and-"

There was a pregnant pause as he continues. "I hope that's okay?"

Magnus chuckles at that.

"Oh. It's more than okay. Actually, I'm more surprised that one of my shirts suits you."

The warlock closes the distance between them to greet him with a kiss. He pulls away adding, "I love it. It's hot. You  _really_  should wear my clothes more often."

"Thank you." smiles Alec relieved that his boyfriend doesn't takes that as an invasion of privacy. Especially since he knows how Magnus is fond about all his clothes collection.

Magnus smiled back and he leaned once again for a kiss.

It lasted longer this time as Magnus put both of his arms around his boyfriend neck and deepened the kiss.

They pulled away after a while and Alec asked,

"Are you okay? You seem a little out of it."

"I'm-" started Magnus, he paused because he doesn't know if he could say something like this to Alec, knowing that it will add a weight in all his list of worries.

Magnus doesn't want to bother him with this, especially when it's in the past. He also doesn't want to scares him off, but they promised to work on the art of communication, and to always be honest with each other.

Just like that, Magnus mind was made.

"Yeah, I'm fine." finally explained the warlock, "It's just that today is kind of a weird day for me."

At Alec questioning look he sighed,

"Today is the anniversary of someone I really cared about. He passed away two centuries ago, Owen was a mundane doctor whom joined the army and he died in his line of duty. I didn't know about it until one day when two agents of the army came to see me to announce me that he was dead. A week later I accepted a medal for his courage on his behalf. So, it's is always a weird day for me."

"Oh." let out Alec surprised, "I'm sorry."

Owen whom was obviously a hero seemed very important for Magnus. Which means that he's was probably one of his past lovers.

While Magnus only smiled and gave him a peck on the check, the dark-haired man can't help but stare at the small box on the small table in front of him.

Magnus walked away and didn't notice that Alec was uncomfortable.

That he was suddenly terrified.

He's knows that it's stupid. He knows that he shouldn't feel this but he just can't help it.

They already went through this,  _he knows this_ , and of course he loves Magnus, he doesn't care with how many people he has been with.

It doesn't stop him for being afraid for their future together though.

While Alec was one of Magnus numerous loves stories, Magnus is his  _one and only_  love story.

He doesn't know what real love felt like until he met Magnus.

The fear of not being able to compete with the ghost of Magnus past lover was choking him.

For a moment he forgot how to breathe.

The anxiety from the last few days that faded away is suddenly back again, except  _stronger, sharper_ , hitting him like a  _lightning strike_.

~~~••~~~

Alec anxiety clings into him all day. It still remains when he steps a foot into the loft later in the day and join Magnus in his office.

Magnus is holding a bundle of bills in his hands and Alec greets him surprised. "Wow huh I never saw you holding actual _real money_ before."

Magnus puts the bills away in a drawer on his desk and shrugs as he's getting up from his seat.

"What can I say?" he smiles as he continues "I'm very good at my job."

"Obviously," smiles nervously the other man's as he raises an eyebrow.

Magnus stares at his boyfriend who is standing a few meters away from him and seems to refuse to came any closer. "Everything is okay?"

"Everything is fine!" says Alec _too quickly_. He was still smiling.

Though his smile looked strained.

Magnus comments with a frown. "I see, I scared you with the entire Owen thing this morning, didn't I?"

"What?" retorts his boyfriend _(again way too quickly)_ , "No.  _Not at all._  Why do you think I'm scared?"

"Alexander," insist back the warlock knowing that there was more than meet the eye. 

Alec sighs as he presses a hand behind his neck.

"Yeah maybe," seeing Magnus look he quickly adds "-but I don't want you to feel like that you can’t tell me this kind of things. I mean I know that you have a past and I accepted that. It makes sense that some people will be more important to you than some others."

Alec shrugs in a false  _it-really-doesn't-bother-me and tries to keep a neutral expression_.

"I guess that I'm still afraid that I will be just someone among all your others seventeen thousand memories. I know we already talked about this and it's _really, really_  stupid but-"

"Alec," cuts him softly Magnus, "Believe me you will not just be a memory among all thousand others."

The warlock walks towards the taller man and puts his hands on his boyfriend shoulders, "You are more than that to me. You told me once that you don't think that you could live without me. Well I just can't live without you either. You are not just a love story among all the others. You are and always will be my  _one and only true_  love story."

Magnus sighs and confess, "That's why I was so afraid at first. About the fact that if I rushed things with you I will have lost you forever."

"You changed me Alec. Your love not only completes me but it also  _transcends_  me. I never felt the quart of the amount of love I have for you for anyone else, even in all my years of living." after a small pause seeing that his words are slowly getting through his boyfriend he continues not breaking his look from him, "I love you  _so much_ , Alexander. I don't even think I will ever love someone as much as I love you right now. I may have kissed a lot of people before but when you kissed me at your  _almost wedding_  to Lydia, it was like I never kissed anyone before. It was like the  _first_ kiss, the  _right_  kiss. Right at this moment I knew that you were  _the one_  for me, and that I never wanted to be kissed by anyone else but you."

A beat.

"Alec, Owen and all the others are in my past. I just looked at this box because I was feeling nostalgic."

Magnus cups his boyfriend face and says firmly.

"Please never doubt my love for you. You,  _Alexander Lightwood_  are my present and my future."

A very moved Alec tries to compose himself as he shakes his head, "I knew it was stupid. I'm sorry."

Alec was always living on the background, he was so used to live near to the spotlight and never step in it, so used to be in his sibling’s shadows.

He was so used to be blinded by the confidence and the light radiating from them which made them stand-out in comparison to him. 

So, he's still surprised that Magnus is actually noticing him. _That he chooses him between all the others people he could have in the world._

_That he's actually the one-person Magnus cherish the most among seventeen thousand others memories._

Magnus smirks as he teases him fondly.

"Well, maybe a little."

Alec rolls his eyes and his boyfriend gave him a peck on the lips.

The dark-haired man holds into the warlock in what seemed forever. As Magnus was about to walk away, Alec hold into him even harder, he puts a hand softly on his boyfriend check.

"I love you." simply says the archer and he hopes it covers everything he actually can't express. 

Like how he knew that Magnus _was different as well_.

How he first realized it when they healed Luke together, then how he _was sure_ when the warlock has lost his control and showed him his warlock mark for the first time, he remembers how he just wanted to _drown himself_ in his boyfriend magnificent cat-eyes.

Or when he kissed him after their first date, because back then even if he was scared by how _different_  they were, Alec just couldn’t convince himself to walk away from him.

_Alec will always fall into his gravity._

"Well as long as you're here with me, I'm not going anywhere." shrugs the warlock with a fond smile, "It would be a shame otherwise, especially since I finally got your mother  _approval_."

Alec laugh was the only answer as he pulls Magnus in a kiss.

Even if he needs all his life to defeat all the obstacles to be with Magnus he realizes that he doesn't even mind.

They can even make through all the flames of  _Edom_  as long as they stick together.

_Just._

_One step a at time._

**Author's Note:**

> [I'm Also on Tumblr](https://holding-up-the-universe.tumblr.com/post/174834279716/zuzusexytiems-possiblestoner)


End file.
